Paul Burgoine has some fun writing about the British group ride, a ‘steady interval’ session or not …
You know how it is. One-by-one, everyone turns up at the meeting point and it’s all quite civil but you know that’s going to change. After leaving the designated meeting point, several people go flying off up the road while others are still standing around chatting, and have to do interval training efforts to get back on.
After a good few kilometres, the group eventually manages to ride two abreast as tight as you can to the kerb and drains. We are a complete hindrance to the majority of the impatient motorists and some pass us with inches to spare shouting profanities and tooting their horns as they pass. Eventually we reach the so called countryside…. more like urban sprawl. It’s almost impossible to keep all motorist’s happy but we do try as hard as possible.
Horses have been an issue in the past, but as a group we seem to have that one covered, and have learned to live with the equestrian lot (this is a major achievement). We have more of a harmonious relationship with them, but more work is needed to convince your average motorists.
The pair on the front increase the tempo as we reach the traffic lights, and fail to look behind – leaving the rest of the group who have done the right thing and stopped and waited for the lights to change to green again before calling on their interval type efforts again.
As we eventually settle into some kind of rhythm, a small amount of people are left to do the majority of the pulling on the front, whilst others behind try every trick in the book to avoid doing any work whatsoever.
Avoidance tricks include: drifting to the back at traffic lights, junctions etc, calling for a nature break then joining the group at the back again (you know who you are). If all these fail, there is always the option of taking a cheeky shortcut. These people will also attack on a hill, then immediately drift to the rear again to rest for the final few kilometres to sprint for the best seat at the cafe.
When the pair on the front are completely worn out, either one or two of the riders pull off the front. This is bit of a hit and miss operation as those behind never know, if just the one of the riders will pull off or both will, until it happens.
When riding in a group, two abreast is an acceptable rule except when on a climb and the testosterone kicks in – and up to four abreast is a common site, and it’s every man or woman to themselves.
Individuals within a group are always concerned with the welfare of themselves and on the odd occasion, others. If you can be bothered, it is considered good form to call out – point out pot holes or obstacles. People further back lose interest in this discipline so beware – at the rear you could be down a hole before you know it.
If you are lucky and it’s not raining or we are not too close to the cafe, the group may wait for you to fix a puncture. If you are a respected member of the group or don’t like getting your hands dirty someone might help you (hold your wheel or bike etc). If you are having a bad day, we will wait for you once then that it you’re on your own…unless you hold the kitty money for the cafe or the only one who knows the way home.
Half wheeling is encouraged during the winter months but is banned in the summer.
God forbid you don’t have a long enough mud flap on your mudguard and someone gets a bit of mud on their top so they go home and get a good telling off by their mum, like you did when you played football in the park when you was SIX.
Group rides are not races….But you don’t want to lose so always be ready to go with the breaks as the tempo can go up unexpectedly at any time. Don’t forget to stay competitive while having your coffee and never never relax …
OTHER FEATURES
- News: GB Team for World CX Championships
- Feature Interview: Imani Pereira-James
- News: Tadej Pogačar to work on his time trial
- News: Fernando Gaviria Hopes for 2021
- News: Julian Alaphilippe to start in Tour de la Provence
- News: Dan Martin Still Learning
- News: Froome after 5th Tour Win
- News: Beeston Race Team
- Team News: Astana – Premier Tech 2021 Goals
- Brits in UCI Teams 2021
- News: British Junior Racing Team Tofauti Everyone Active
- The Way Ahead: Part Seven
- News: Tour of Valencia (3-7 February)
- News: Bernal & the Giro
- News: 2021/22 CX Season British Dates
- News: Fabio Jakobsen Getting Better
- News: Bauke Mollema’s 2021 Season
- News: Tom Pidcock’s aims for 2021
- News: Tim Wellens Focus on Classics
- News: UAE Tour returns in Feb
- News: Deceuninck – Quick-Step Media Day
- Q&A: Lauren Creamer racing for LVIV in 2021
- Feature: Brother UK/LDN Women’s Team
- News: Gilbert uncertain about 2021
- News: Jakob Fuglsang at Ruta del Sol
- Team JRC Shutt Ridley Women’s Team
- Team News: Chris Froome optimistic about 2021
- News: Ambitions for Trek-Segafredo leaders
- News: Tom Dumoulin Programme
- News: Team Bahrain Victorious 2021 Goals
- News: Busy season ahead for Peter Sagan
- UAE Team Emirates signs Marc Hirschi
- News: WorldTourTeams in Challenge Mallorca
- News: Wout Poels to focus on the Tour de France
- The Way Ahead: Peter Harrison
- Teams: JRC Shutt Ridley Junior Women
- Teams: JRC Shutt Ridley Junior Men
- Teams: TBW23 Stuart Hall Cycling p/b Trainsharp
- Team News: Tom Mazzone signs for Saint Piran
- Team News: Iwan Evans signs for Saint Piran
- News: Pidcock Third in Hulst World Cup
- News: Torelli-Assure-Scimitar 2021
- News: Charity ride for Sam Woodfield/Isaac Hudson
- New British Women’s UCI Team
- News: Saint Piran Goes UCI
- News: Tom Pidcock talks to Sporza
- News: 2021 Drops Cycling
- Result: NWCCA Round 3
- Team News: Vredestein Basso 2021
- Feature: Brother UK/Cycle Team OnForm (Men)
- News: Storey Racing line up in 2021
- Feature Interview: Ian Watson (Brother UK-LDN)
- News: Simon Carr Joins EF Education
- News: Cyclocross Championships Cancelled
- Feature: Ribble Weldtite 2021
- News: Tom Pidcock Learns from Namur WorldCup
- Interview: April Tacey (eRacer of the Year)
- Interview: Joe Sutton heading to France
- 2019 National A Road Race Results (Men)
- Team News: Richardsons Trek